Hospitals, Party Buses, and Book Sales...

It has been an interesting week at el rancho Engle.  A week that included the self-publishing of my 2nd e-book on Kindle at Amazon.com, my niece's 21st birthday, and two days spent in the hospital with my youngest son.

When sales on my first e-book hitting the whopping total of 5, I decided it was time to go ahead and upload the next installation in that series.  So Guardian of Dreams was edited and uploaded and in the intervening days I have sold another copy of Saving Alexandria as well as one copy of the new book.  Definitely not an overwhelming success, but still it gives me a sense of pride that someone out there actually paid for something I wrote.  It's scarey as hell because there is that tiny I was a 300 lb teenager voice in the back of my head that still screams "They're going to hate it and laugh at you," but it's pretty much drowned out now by the big girl voice that shrugs and says "so fuckin what if they do?"
Also this week was my niece's 21st birthday for which her sister (also my niece obviously) arranged for a party bus.  A party bus I learned during the course of these events, is a bus... sometimes a limo and sometimes and actual bus... that drives you around from club to club and then delivers you home safely and without anyone driving after they've been drinking.  The actual bus type have a nightclub complete with dance floor actually inside the bus with coolers for ice and drinks, big screen tv, and a million other ammenities.  You can rent the buses for anything, doesn't have to be club hopping, and while they're pricey if you've got a group thing going and everyone pitches in then the price would be super reasonable.  I personally did not get to go on the party bus because my baby boy wasn't feeling well and I decided to stay home with him instead, but I have now decided that festivities surrounding my 44th birthday in July will most definitely include the rental of a party bus... the big one with the pole so I can take hysterically funny pictures of my wonderful family and friends on the dance pole... we'll play a Shemar Moore marathon on the big screen and dance like maniacs to a wild variety of music... everyone reading this is hereby invited to my birthday on the party and feel free to blog about it afterward because I'm pretty sure I will :)

The final chapter of my week actually started several weeks ago when my youngest son started getting signs of one of the many pesky viruses that plague primary school children.  Low grade fever, headache, stomachache; just overall feeling of yuck.  The symptoms came and left and then returned again over the space of several weeks and after a trip to the Dr and another to the ER I was pretty much given the word that there was really not much to be done about viruses.  Don't give Motrin or Tylenol unless the temp is over 101, and you don't need to have him seen by the Dr unless there is vomiting, diarrhea, or temp over 102.  I followed that advice for weeks, sending him to school when there was no temp and allowing him to continue his regular activities as long as he felt well enough to do so. 

Then last Sunday he had a wrestling tournament and that night the low grade temp, headache and stomachache returned.  I kept him home on Monday and the fever was gone by Monday night.  He was fine on Tuesday and went to school but woke up Wednesday morning complaining of pain in his calf muscles on both legs.  I sort of shrugged it off figuring he was having growing pains (he's 7 so the right age for a growth spurt) combined with wrestling and perhaps muscle ache from the virus he was still recovering from.  He went to school on Wednesday, wrestling practice Wednesday night without problem but by the time we arrived home for the evening he was having so much pain in his calves that he could barely walk.  I asked some friends in the medical field and there was concern that he could have blood clots in his legs.

Although the lack of any visible symptoms of a clot and the fact that it was affecting both calves made it seem unlikely, I took him in to see the Dr on Thursday morning.  She started him on antibiotic for a sinus infection and decided to draw some blood work just because he had been have the signs of viral infection for so long.  One of the blood tests she ran is called a CK which checks the level of muscle enzymes in the blood.  Friday morning she called me at work to say that the enzyme levels in my son's blood were extremely elevated and that he needed to be admitted to the hospital immediately so that they could flush his system with IV fluids.

Normal muscle enzyme levels are 50-173... Karl's enzyme level from the test they took at the Dr office on Thursday morning was 3600.  The condition is called Viral Myositis and reading the information about it now after the fact it seems cut and dried... in the midst of it with only a phone call saying he needed to be admitted immediately to flush away whatever is being released by the elevated enzyme levels it was frightening. 

This is where I have to say that the staff at Dayton's Children's is unbelievable. Admissions took less than twenty minutes, we were in our room with the IV started within forty minutes, and the admitting resident is required to see the child within two hours of their presence on the floor.  Our admitting resident, who I am ashamed to say I cannot remember her name; my mind was on other things I'm afraid. was phenomenal.  She was fabulous with my son, reassuring to my 85 year old mother who was nearly apoplectic in her concern, and very straightforward with me.  Her personality and bedside manner were perfectly suited to working with ill children and frightened parents.  The nurses and staff assistants were all wonderful and kept an excellent balance between closely watching my son's condition and irritating him with procedures and check ups. 

All in all it was an exhausting week topped off by a nice Saturday evening spent playing video games and dancing with my kids in our living room. Life is never easy but it's usually worth the struggle.

Chugging right along...

I am now the author of not one but two self-published Kindle e-books.  At first I thought that was a pretty ballsy move considering the first one has only sold 5 copies in three weeks and has been stuck at 5 for days now.  Then last night in a fit of insomnia I realized that I literally have nothing to lose.  I don't HAVE to do anything.  There are no rules, no right or wrong, no reason not to go ahead and self-publish.  It doesn't stop me from pursuing traditional publication if I want to, nor does it require me to continue publishing book after book. 

It's sad that it has taken me nearly 44 years to realize that this is the only life I'm going to get and it's perfectly okay to live it in whatever way makes me happy.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about going out and just doing whatever you want and saying f-you to the world.  It's never okay to deliberately do things that are hurtful or harmful to yourself or to anyone else.

I think people need to do what makes them happy; what makes life worth getting out of bed for in the morning and worry about what they're "supposed" to be doing.  People seem to judge themselves and their loved ones based on what others are doing and what society seems to think is the proper course of life.  My niece recently found out that she has been accepted to Ohio State University and I'm THRILLED!  It's a wonderful accomplishment and she's an awesome kid who I'm sure will thrive and succeed in college.  At the same time it bothers me that there are kids her age who are made to feel like they're less because they've been turned down by colleges or just simply have no interest in attending.  Education is important and should always be encouraged and supported.  At the same time if someone is content and happy working in a job that doesn't demand a college education and is willing (and able) to live within the financial limitations of that sort of position then that is a life decision which should be supported as well.

I think what I'm really trying to say is that non-negative behavior should be supported.  If a kid is working and helping out at home and taking care of business is it really okay to put them down because they don't want to go to college?  If a young adult is working hard to support a little apartment and some utilities is there really any shame in being happy with that life; should they really be looked at strangely because they aren't in a "committed relationship", involved in a degree program, or yearning for babies and a mortgage?  If a single mother is struggling to get an education or working long hours to further her career is it really okay to assume her child is neglected?

Shouldn't we really encourage people to follow the path that makes them happy and successful in life instead of trying to force them down a road that someone else has chosen for them?  I could be wrong... I am wrong a lot.... But after 44 years I can say with pride that I have two college degrees and a post graduate degree and I work at Wal-Mart because it's where I'm happy.  I write and self-publish e-books because it makes me happy and gives me a sense of fullfillment.  I bake cookies at Christmas, birthday cakes for people I like, and rack my brains for silly gifts because it makes me happy; not because I expect something in return or because I want people to think I'm something special.  I do it because it makes me happy and after 44 years I've learned that nothing on earth is as important as being happy with yourself.

How the heck do you sell this stuff????

Well my e-book seems to be stuck at the number 5 and even though that's 4 more than I really expected to sell I'd still love to see that number climb. 

That brings the question to mind.  How does one market an e-book????  Word of mouth got me to 5, but what do I do now?  I know that print authors do all sorts of things to market books including book marks and flyers and other little freebies they distribute to book stores and such.  I suppose that would work for an e-book and now that I've brought it to the forefront of my mind it might be something worth considering if/when I get myself together and get my other finished books available.

Still outside of that is there something I should be doing to promote and market the book so that people know it's out there??  Any and all ideas and suggestions are welcome because to be honest I'm pretty clueless about what's out there or how any of it works.

I can't make up my mind...

I usually do things on gut impulse.  I'm not one to process and look at every option and carefully select an option based on the possible outcomes.  If it feels right at the moment and it isn't something that is likely to get me shot or arrested I'll go for it. 

In some odd twist of fate I also am ridiculously organized when there is something I know I have to do.  I will plan carefully, make list after list after list, make sure ever angle and option is covered and that everything is equal, balanced and even.

Now there are many things that catch me in the middle of these two bizarre split personalities.  One of those things is my writing.  When I'm writing I go with the flow.  I am a pantser; which if you know any writers you know that means that I don't plot my stories out.  My characters write their own stories and I just type it all out.  Once the story is done I go back and do a billion edits (for everything but SPAG, I hate that shit and it's one of the biggest things standing between me and traditional publication) to hone things into the shape I think it's supposed to take.

Then it's finished and I'm left wondering what the hell I want to do with it.  When I recently e-published one of my books I did so with the idea that I would feel better for having just made a decision and gone with it.  I now have a published work available for purchase at Kindle.com. 

Only it seems to have backfired one me because now I'm left feeling unsatisfied, like there's something else I should be doing.  Maybe I should start making lists of publishers and agents again.  Perhaps I should start drafting queries and synopsis of the three novels I have finished and the 4 more that I have at least half way completed.  Then I remember how much I detest queries and synopsis and how drafted those things requires me to go back and start the dreaded SPAG edits that I would rather pick my nose in public then even begin to attempt.

I hate this "I don't know what to do" state of mind.  It leaves me agitated and feeling adrift; like I should be doing something and yet I have no idea where to begin.  It really annoys me at work when it's slow because I feel like I should be at home writing or editing or drafting letters and me knowing full well that if I do go home I'll be playing Cityville or Cafe World until it's time to go to bed.

For now I am trying to keep busy doing honing edits on the first full length novel that follows up the novella I have published at Kindle.  My friend in Florida is already asking where it's at, and while I hadn't quite decided what I wanted to do with it now that she's asked that decision is made and I will go ahead and finish this current round of edits and throw it up on Kindle as an e-book as well.  Neither of them may ever get anywhere, but at least I'll feel like I did something for a minute. 

Then maybe when the weather is warmer and I don't have to wear 200 pounds of extra clothing I will start again with the lists of agents and publishers.  Maybe I'll hire someone for the dreaded SPAG edits.  Maybe I'll use some of my income tax return to join RWA and then go Pro with my collection of rejection letters from my last round of queries and synopsis.  Maybe... or maybe not...

I warned you all in the beginning this blog would be mostly rambling... today is a perfect example LOL