Wednesday, September 21, 2011

It just keeps spinning...

It's amazing to me how the world just keeps turning no matter how much you wish it would stop or at least slow down enough for a person to catch their breath.  Birth, death, marriage, divorce; life just keeps moving, taking its toll without the world ever so much as hiccuping.  Every day the sun comes up in the East and sets in the West and another week begins as one ends while we all get a little older and a little closer to our individual demise.

Aren't I just a ray of sunshine this evening?  Well that's kind of what life has been throwing at me lately so it's a bit difficult to throw out positive platitudes when I'm really wishing someone would give me a damn direction book for the rest of my life.  I need some positive reinforcement for getting old and sick and watching my family die off one by one leaving me just a heartbeat closer to the great unknown.

There's an old song... I'm really horrible with trivia so I couldn't tell you who sang it or when it was made... but the most memorable line is "Should I stay or should I go now?  If I stay there will be trouble, if I go it will be double..."  That's my emotional mantra these days in pretty much every aspect of life; work, home, private...  too many what ifs and maybes and what would/could happens... too much to think about and no time to search out the answers... no confidence in finding the right ones even if there was time

See what happens when I don't sleep?  I ramble on in a stream of irrational consciousness... but at least after two months I've blogged something so I guess that counts as "I did something today" and if not who will know anyway?

1 comment:

  1. You have done so much!! You should be proud! Heck I went an entire year without even so much as a new blog post! :) Be proud - you are doing great!