This has been a strange, bizarre, emotional month and it's only 7 days in. It seems as though I have run the complete gambit of emotions every day and some days several times to the point that I am utterly exhausted and totally bewildered.
Today however was an unusual day in a good way. Today after 43 years, 6 months, and 14 days of life someone told me I was pretty. Granted it was a six year old girl, but still it was said with an honest heart and truthful intent so it counts.
Now to be realistic I've never expected to be told that I'm pretty because I really am not and haven't ever been. I was cute as babies go, and adorable as a toddler, but by the time I hit preschool/elementary school age I was seriously over weight and remarkably unhappy. Unhappy, overweight, introverted little girls are not pretty by any stretch of the imagination, and that doesn't get better with age or even weight loss. It doesn't get better because it's a mind set with an iron grip that never goes away. Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying I was ugly or hideous or unsightly. I'm just saying that someone who carries themselves shrouded in self-consciousness doesn't generally present a "pretty" demeanor to the outside world. Not even to the people who love them and care the most about them. That's why you will overhear the parents/friends/spouses/loved ones of these people give compliments like... "You have such a pretty face..." or "Well you look nice today..."
The fact that this little girl... who knows me only because she sees me at the bus stop with my youngest son... thinks I'm "really pretty" tells me that somewhere inside the death grip is beginning to loosen and allow glimpses of the person I want to be to show through. For me that's a major step and honestly it's one I really wouldn't have thought I would ever make.
News of the week....
- Combined book sales are up to 10!!!!! Yayyyyyy me!! Put the word out if you know anyone who reads paranormal romance. Even if they don't have a Kindle they can download the Kindle program FREE for PC, iPhone, iPad, Blackberry and Android phones as well. Then it's just the cost of the e-books themselves and they're super reasonable and a lot are free.
- Karl is selling cookie dough if anyone wants some let me know
- Work schedules continue to have the pungent aroma of booty nuts & Cheerios so if you want my presence at anything I need at least a couple weeks advance notice.