Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Sweet Words of a Child...

"Mooooom! The police are here!"

It's a phrase I've been awoken by on more than one occasion since 1989.  Actually it's a phrase I've heard more times than I could count on the fingers of both hands.  When you raise children with severe mental, emotional, and behavioral problems you have a lot of visits from the po-po.  Many times, probably most in fact, it wasn't a surprise when they arrived because I was the one who called them to come out.  The special times of course are when they show up unnanounced like they did at 9:25 this morning.

My first thought was panic of course, thinking that the storm had in some way maimed one of my boys.  Thankfully today's shocking wake up call was followed by "they're here because our door was open."

Okay.  So why was our door open?  When I got up at 2:45 or so and went down to shut off the lights both doors were locked, yet when I go downstairs the officer (who is a nice guy but doesn't think much of me or my family apparently) says the backdoor was unlocked when they got here and the front door was hanging wide open.  So I tell him that they were locked around 3am (which I later found out was about 2:45 only because I'd been awake enough to send a Facebook status e-mail... which is probably the straw that sucked the last of the power from the cell phone... oops).

So he looks at me like I'm lying.... because Lord knows there's obviously nothing missing so I must be lying about something I guess... then he says "Who is here with you ma'am?"

Now keep in mind that it was 9:20am and I had been dead asleep.  I was dressed in the t-shirt I sleep in and the jeans I pulled on as I came down the stairs.  I was confused, embarrassed, still half asleep, and not in a very good mood so my first thought was to say.  "Well I have Shemar Moore tied up in my bedroom closet and I probably just forgot to shut the door good when I ruphied him and dragged him through the ice covered parking lot and up the stairs.  He put up a hell of a struggle despite the elephant tranquilizers I bought to knock him out with.  I will definitely have to do more research on dosing next time."

Luckily this is not my first time around the block so I managed to just raise an eyebrow and say "just me and my daughter.  Her friend is here and my son, my seven year old son."

So then Officer Attitude says.  "I'm familiar with this residence."   To which I merely nodded, considering it's my fat ass that usually calls him out I'm pretty sure I already knew that.  Then he goes on to say.  "How old is your daughter and her friend?"  "17" I say...  and then he looks at me, nods his head wisely and says, "Maybe the girls went out last night."

Yeah buddy because I was a little light on funds so I sent those bitches to the corner to make a buck or two in a freaking ice storm.  It was raining ice all night and about 20 degrees, not even meth heads were out last night!  Once again I just said "Uhm maybe, I don't know though it was sort of cold."

In the end they just left and said if I think of anything to call them. What am I supposed to think of?  There was nothing missing, the last time I was downstairs both doors were shut and I'm pretty sure the front door was locked, but it's possible that I just glanced at it and assumed it was locked because it wasn't straight horizontal.  I'm sorry they had to come out for nothing, but to be honest I didn't call them and if the apartment guy had done something silly like oh I don't know... ring the fucking doorbell and see if someone answered????  Then they wouldn't have needed to come out.  Yet at the same time isn't that their job?

Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for the police department and the officers on the street especially.  Their job is difficult, stressful, and always potentially deadly.  Generally I have found them to be understanding, sympathetic, and willing to help you out in any way possible... Yet somehow this morning I was made to feel like I had done, or was doing something wrong.  I was asleep, but it was 9:20 on my day off and school is cancelled.  I told them what I thought to be true which was that when I got up after the electric was on I came down to turn the lights off and thought the doors were locked... I know they were both closed because I was downstairs twice and would have noticed if the door were standing wide open.

Perhaps I'm just bitter because I had hoped that my days of hearing that particular phrase were over forever and yet there it was this morning back like a bad rash.  I will get over this as well I'm sure, and at least I have something new to blog and bitch about. :)

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